Im not ready to finish unpacking my bedroom, looking at the boxes makes it feel like I have stopped time. Sometimes I don't want to move forward, I just want everything to stop. Finding the perfect moment and losing it is such a tease. I can feel you here around me.  You are the one who will take me away from here. The one who will make me want to start time again.  I think my hopes are too high.  I can't concentrate on anything, all I want is love. The perfect love.  The kind of love that is perfect simply by the feeling I get when I look at them, hear them speak, feel them close. I want my expectations to be erased from my mind.  I have many reasons why my schooling is not very important to me but love is one of them. I don't want love with just anyone. 

Perhaps tonight I will take a drive down to the beach. I may hate sand but the beach is very calming. It was forced upon me a while back so I do have a bit of a connection with it. The moon especially is nice on the beach. You can see the stars as they clearly surround it.  May 6th will be the next full moon. I'll be seeing ya.

<3sarah

Im sitting in the library at school because my neighbor lets me use his wi-fi and it is currently down. Im surrounded by people trying my hardest to not let all my emotions flood out onto the table tops. I just got done reading dome Non-Fiction stories for my creative writing class. Everyone seems to be good at writing these non fiction stories and it makes me wonder if I chose a topic that was too strong or maybe a topic that no one will understand. My childhood was confusing and damaging to me. Sometimes I wonder if my personality had been different if I would have grown up and been ok. Im not completely grown up but I feel like when I am fully there, I wont be as ok as I could have been.  I recently moved into my own place. Its lonely but nice at the same time. Im tired but can never sleep. If i had headphones I would be listening to music and if I were home I would probably be dancing around the room to clear my head. I need someone, anyone, to come visit me and just spend time holding me. Dependent...thats what I am.

<3sarah

I feel like this post was too short, but I can't write with all these people around me...